Those question marks seem to bounce off the walls of my brain sometimes. They pound and taunt until I can't take it any more and I turn to God crying, "What's next? What comes after this?"
I'm not the only one asking. People often ask me "What's next?" I greatly appreciate the love, interest and concern that prompts the question, but still I cringe a little bit inside as I grope for an answer.
The answer shouldn't be that hard to find. I know the direction God wants me to take; I know what my calling is. My passion is encouraging other young women to pursue a deeper relationship with God and unfold their hearts before Him. You've probably heard the quote from Eric Liddell before, "God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure." It's the same for me. When I'm deep in a discussion about God and life with another girl, I get excited. I feel God closer than ever when I am "Comfort[ing] those in any trouble with the comfort [I] receive from God." 2 Corinthians 1:4
So why is it so hard for me to come up with an answer to the "What's next?" question? Well, I have a dream but I'm not actively pursuing it. I have a vision but no steps to achieve it. I know that God has a reason to keep me on hold and it's most likely to prepare me, but sometimes it feels like I'm at a dead end.
That's when I turn to God and cry, "What's next? You've given me a vision but no directions. What comes after this?" It's funny that I've asked that question so many times now because I always get the exact same answer and it's not a difficult one to remember. It's one word, "Me". That's always been enough to silence the question marks.